Thursday, April 7, 2016

Peer review- Emma Ross

1.      This paper had a good overall flow, it definitely had my attention from beginning to end. Just a few sentences that were a bit confusing with word choice and I gave suggestions for that on the hard copy.
2.       
a.       This paper is formal, concise and very clear. This paper uses first person pronouns in the abstract, introduction and discussion parts of their paper.
b.      Pattern errors in this report were the few errors in the sentences I had pointed out in the hard copy. My suggestion would to be to just fix those words or maybe rearrange the sentence to have it make more sense.
c.       This paper fulfills the length requirements and it also includes an “Appendix” and “References”.
d.      This paper did not follow the APA format, the things that are missing are the title page, page numbers, and headings. There also isn’t much in-text citations either.
3.       
a.       Abstract: It mentioned major information from all the sections. It showed why this report was important, what was done, what they found, and how their research finds proved that their hypothesis was correct.
b.      It shows that this topic is important because of the deaths that are occurring because people aren’t finding the help they need. The gap would be the differences in the years the information was give. The intro does not state the research question but it summarizes them a bit.
c.       The Methods section was good overall, it was very clear and easy to understand. A suggestion I have for the participants section would be to include how they chose their participants, if it was random people off the street or if they posted it to a social media account.
d.      Their results section needs to have paragraphs explaining their bar graphs and their findings from these results and explaining the major trends and providing data to back up their information. The figures were good for the most part they were numbered and had a caption at the bottom.
e.       The discussion connects to the findings they had stated in the introduction and it also summarized the most important parts of the study which were that individuals tend to keep things to themselves rather than look for help. It also states the problems with the study methods. They explained that their implications didn’t change from their original hypothesis.
4.       
a.       The experiment provided sufficient data but it did not explain their results for each question.
b.      Yes they did a good job at clearly indicating the study to understand the topic
5.       

a.       My overall impression of this paper was that it was good at keeping my attention and making me think more about this topic and how I can help others by reaching out to them more when they are feeling down. Something you can improve on your paper would be to elaborate more on your graphs. You can also fix the few sentences that I pointed out in the hard copy. Lastly, add page numbers and a heading to your pages.

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